I think we may finally have it, I pray!

Helping my children develop a good work ethic has been the most fantastic and awarding undertaking of motherhood thus far. Okay, I am not usually sarcastic, but that last statement was oozing and dripping with sarcasm. Having my children do chores in an effort to learn how to work, to feel an effective part of our family, and to help them learn confidence has been the bane of my existence! In fact, whenever it is time to clean, I have to brace myself for the groaning, the whining, and the complaining. I feel like I am going into a war zone, and

these are my enemies!

I find myself saying things like, "It's not gonna kill you!" "No, you are not done." "I don't want to hear the whining, I am not in the mood for that today." (actually I am never in the mood for whining) "The sooner you get busy, the sooner we can be done." "You know, if Mama (yes reverting to referring to myself in the third person) was lazy, than you could be too. I however (switching back to first person, no wonder they are confused) am not lazy, so as long as I am working I expect you to; now get off of your little hineys and get to work."

I do have to point out though that this little banter usually begins after I have attempted my upbeat cheerleader routine, and they continue to complain or dawdle. During these daily brushes with frustration, I have also realized why so many parents say forget it and just do the work themselves. Knowing that it is up to me to instill values in my children, and not being a quitter, I trudge on, trying to find what will work. A few months ago, I really started thinking about what I could possibly do to:

1) Motivate the children to want to do their work (is that even possible I wondered)

2) Get the work accomplished, so we could all be happy

3) Help their self confidence grow in themselves as they see that they are contributing to the family and really making a difference

4) Come up with an reward system that would help with the motivation but not negate the self motivation and drive I was hoping to develop

5) Make it fun for everyone

After racking my brain and trying to remember various ideas I had read about in the past, this is what I have come up with. Braden and Brooke both have a chore chart with pictures of the jobs they are required to do, nothing hard, things like: make your bed, put your dirty clothes in hamper, put your shoes away, pick up your toys, put your clothes away, put your books away, set the table, etc.; you get the idea. Well, every time they do a chore, they earn a point, with the exception of their rooms; they get 3 points for doing their room if they need help and 5 points if they do it all by themselves. Each point equates to a poker chip, and these poker chips are placed in a jar; as they collect points and chips, we count them and put the total on the top of the jar with a wipe marker; initially we started with M&Ms, but I didn't want to have to continue to buy them. Braden and Brooke then have the opportunity to visit the chore store where they can trade in their chips for things such as: a movie and popcorn, 30 minutes of computer time, baking cookies, bike riding, a bubble bath in the big bath tub, etc.; after they purchase the activity or activities of their choice, we subtract those chips and write a new total on top. So far it seems to really be working; Braden and Brooke are both more motivated, they are seeing the result of their work, they feel good as they realize they are contributing to the running of the family, and the whining has reduced expeditiously (if only I knew how to make it completely disappear; it would be heavenly).

The Jars

(If you are wondering why Brooke has a lot less, it is because she used most of her chips to purchase a movie and popcorn.)

Here are the chore charts (not as full as usual, I guess we have been taking it a little easy due to the holidays) and the chore store list of goods (it is a work in progress; I still have more activities and rewards I want to add to the store)

I'm sure as time goes on, I will tweak it here and there, but I think we may finally have it! At least, I pray we have it, oh do I pray we have it! So far, so good; keep your fingers crossed!