Okay, I would like to officially say that the public school system is NOT my favorite institution today, which is sad, considering I went to college to teach; I in fact taught for three plus years and loved it! I however do not in fact love the public school system today! 
When you have a son driven to tears with the mere thought of having to do more work, after having been at school all day, you start to seriously reconsider the benefits of the public school system. It seems every year, they are pushing children to grow up faster and to bombard them with more information and knowledge at a younger and younger age. The world has become so competitive and so has education! What happened to going on field trips? What happened to doing fun theme activities and hands on activities more than worksheets? What happened to playing in the dirt: building mud pies, watching bugs, and just having fun getting filthy from head to toe. What happened to letting a child just be a child?! Braden is in kindergarten this year, and he is expected to do more and learn more than I ever dreamed of being expected to learn as a five year old. Case in point: this week he has two new sight words to learn in addition to the 45+ he has already had to try to learn, 10 spelling words, and in addition he needs to practice counting, number recognition, money, and his handwriting, and this is after he has already spent a full day at school. I feel like all of the fun is being sapped out of learning; it is more of a drudgery than a pleasure. I feel Braden should have minimal homework, so he can have time to be a kid. It pained me tonight to watch Rich outside playing with the girls, while my poor overstressed, overworked son had to sit at the dining room table with me to work on his spelling words. I think part of the problem is that in the public school system, there is one teacher that is expected to meet the needs of all of her students in her or his classroom, which is just not feasible. There is no way that Braden or any other student can get the individualized attention they may need, and the teacher's job just becomes harder and harder every year as they add more to the curriculum. It has become where the parent, in order for their child to stay on target, must review and sometimes reteach at home, leaving you to wonder why you send your child to school in the first place. It makes you begin to wonder why you just don't keep your child at home, where you can spend that one on one time with them and give them the individualized attention that they need. These are things that I have began to ponder. What truly is best for Braden? Where will his needs be better met? To homeschool or to not homeschool, that is the question; it is the question that I have struggled with since he began school. What would in the long run be the most beneficial for Braden? The only things holding me back right now are 1) I am getting ready to have a baby, and 2) Braden's socialization, providing adequate enough social situations allowing him to grow and thrive. I don't know the perfect answer, but I am on a quest for that answer. I feel as a mother, it is my job to look out for the best interest of my child; I want education to be a positive experience for Braden, and I don't want his love of learning to perish sitting at the dining room table mulling over sight words, spelling words, and the monotony of practicing writing letters. Could I do a better job at home? Would he still have the opportunities he would at school to interact with others and grow socially?
Monday, January 12, 2009
To homeschool or not to homeschool, that is the question
To homeschool, or not to homeschool, that is the question I wrestle with today.
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The Cutie Patooties
12 comments:
Normally, I am adamently opposed to home-schooling. Why? Because parents don't know how to teach, they think they do, but they don't. Of course, with your background, you DO know how to teach, so that becomes a non-issue. But, that is a huge stress to take on when you are about to have a newborn (ie, no sleep) and you are pre-schooling Brooke already.
With that said, however, I agree with you 100% on your frustrations. Homework for kindergartners? That is rediculous. Learning must be fun or kids will shut down- as you are seeing with Braden. And, it sounds like he has a TON of homework- 5 minutes might be ok, but not 30 minutes to an hour! For Heaven's sake, he is still a kid. I am curious if you have talked to the teacher about this. Perhaps there may be some sort of middle ground? It seems that 99% of homework is busy work, and I wonder if she is sending it home because she believes in it or if she is forced to because the district makes her.
I have often thought, and I would love your opinion on this as I have yet to send a child to school, that I would simply not make them do the homework in the early grades. I really just believe homework in the early grades is so not important, and here they won't flunk kids (looks too bad on the AYP). But, I also realize the flaw in my plan is that I don't want them later on in life to say, "but mom, you never made me do homework before, why do I have to do it now?" I do tink homework is important in junior high and high school- but in elementary school, I think it should be held to a minimum and should be FUN homework, not a stress for the child at all. After all, they are still children.
I am definitely curious to hear your continued thoughts on this and what you decide. I wish you the best of luck with this very difficult decision!!!
I am 100% for homeschooling!And I know lots of non-teachers who have done it wonderfully. With your degree, you can do it even more wonderfully. Who knows more than the parent? Bottom line, you have my support, whatever you decide. And I'll just sit here jealous for not having the courage that you do. :)
Hey Carrie, I have a few years to go but I am already struggling with this same thought. I agree with the first comment that not all parents should teach, but you and I are educated to teach. You are a great teacher too. I would suggest homeschooling if you can. It can be more flexible and you can go on field trips and make it much more fun for him. He should be developing a love for learning, not stressing out over school. If you can't fit it in your day, then I would suggest talking to his teacher and maybe even principal and ask them to make a homework policy. CRES made a 10 min per grade level policy (1st= 10 mins, 2nd=20 min, etc.) Kindergarten is a time for exploring and learning about the world around you. It should not be so hard. I would say go over the flash cards with him for a few mins and then let him go play. I know he will do well enough to learn what he needs to learn, but what is he missing out on by not playing with sisters and Daddy. And as far as socialization: I would much rather pick my kids social group (church, family, etc.) than have them learn bad habits of kids in the classroom. I think I am leaning toward homeschooling. If we can work it out in the next 4 years so I can stay home with them. I might have to go back to teaching, but I may even consider doing it after school b/c I think it is that important to make sure they are taught properly, lovingly, happily, positively, etc. You are such a wonderful mother!! Look at this site, it may help all your kids. www.yourbabycanread.tv I'm getting it for the girls. I think it is great! Good luck with whatever you decide.
You know I hate to think of my Braden crying ever, especially over homework. I know that with your backgroud Braden would recieve the needed education. The only thing I am concerned about is the socialization. He needs what the school can provide in that arena. Church activities and play dates just don't make up for that. I am glad that Braden has you and Rich to help him at home. I teach students everyday with parents that are very unaware of what their child is doing in school let alone taking the time to help them. You are doing an excellent job! I know you and Rich will make the right decision for your family!
I just found this article:
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/28624181/?GT1=43001
about fed-up parents who think their kids have too much homework- thought it was perfectly timely!!!
I wouldn't worry about the socialization issue. There are plenty of opportunities to involve your children in activities such as sports and other rec or arts activities. When you homeschool, you have much more time available for these opportunities without feeling that you are running yourself ragged with getting them off to school, home from school, and doing busy...I mean homework, getting to bed on time, etc.
I feel my 6 children are adequately socialized with Primary, playdates, and their interactions with one another at home. I am quite satisfied with them being one another's best friends. They will be with each other forever. It comforts me that the strong bonds that they are forming in their youth, will help them to keep each other on the straight and narrow when the struggles of young adulthood and adulthood begin to weigh upon them.
I am confident that our family has made the right choice to homeschool. I feel the blessings of homeschooling FAR outweigh the advantages that even the best public school has to offer. It is not our desire to raise our children in a bubble. Our primary goal is to teach them to love to learn. We feel the best atmosphere to develop this attribute is in a low-stress, safe, and loving home.
Good luck with your decision :) I support you either way. But I know you would be a fabulous teacher. Heavenly Father has blessed you with this talent. What better people to use it for than your children? You will want to pull your hair out somedays. But bald is beautiful! Right?
I promise this is my last comment and then I will shut-up. I really have been thinking A LOT about this (as I am sure you guessed), and I was going to e-mail you, but I am certain the address I have is outdated...
I am concerned because this seems like something that you don't want to do, but that you think maybe you should do. This will add A LOT to your already very full plate, and you also have a husband who is bishop, which adds even more. If you were totally gung ho like with Brooke's pre-school, I would totally be on board- but it really sounds like you don't want to do this. Maybe I am wrong, but that is the impression I get from your writings.
It also seems that you are thinking there are only two options- either Braden cries every night and hates school, OR you take the entire burden of school on yourself and constantly wonder if you are doing a good enough job (which, of course, you will do a great job- but knowing you, you will never think that you are- again, adding more stress). You know, because you have been there, that public schools are invaluable and wonderful- that the teachers care about their students and do their best every single day. You know that- that is not the question. It seems to me, that rather choosing either extreme- neither of which is perhaps the best solution- there is something in the middle. Maybe you need to "fight" for Braden with his teacher and put your foot down on all the homework. Maybe you say, "we will do 5 minutes of homework a night- he gets to choose what homework gets done- and what he doesn't get done, so be it." Maybe you need to talk to the principal or even the school board. I am willing to bet you are not the only parent who feels this way- maybe you should talk to the other parents.
I guess what I am trying to say is that I don't think it is all or nothing, but if you are going to home-school, YOU need to be absolutely, 100% in or you will resent that decision. This is a big decision, I am not trying to belittle that, I just think maybe there are other options then just the two extremes. I know that you believe in public schools, but that you are justifibly upset about this particular situation. Perhaps there are other ways around it...
OK, I will now be silent on this issue and wait to hear what you decide! Everyone else has also made very valid points, and either way, I know you will make the decision with the guidance of the Lord, and as long as you listen to Him, how can you go wrong? Good luck!
Oh Carrie, that is so stressful. Poor little Braden. I agree with everyone else that it is absolutely RIDICULOUS that a Kindergartener would have homework. I am also sure that you are not the only parent that is feeling this way. I would talk to his teacher and find out what this is all about before stressing even more about this. I know that you will make the right decision for him- get a blessing about it-you and Braden. He should love school, not be in tears. Of course I will be praying for you and your family about this. Oh how I dread making these kind of decisions!!!
I've been wanting to say this to someone ever since I read the article in an Ensign a couple of months ago: Have you inquired of the Lord? According to this article, there's only one instance in the Bible of a person not getting an answer after inquiring of Him. While you're waiting for an answer, (1)plan what to say to his teacher on Friday and remember how you felt when a mother or two would "call you" on something. (2) It's such a tough, challenging world out there and children have to be more prepared than ever for it. (3)Braden and his sibs are "choice spirits" reserved for this particular time, and he's equipped for and capable of handling a lot more than we might think.
Okay, I'll zip it up.
I think Christina has good point. Don't jump to extremes. Talking to the teacher is a good first step. Use your beautiful big belly to your advantage. She'll probably take one look at your belly, not want to upset you, and Braden won't have anymore homework. I'm sure other parents are feeling the same way. If she is required to assign that much homework, then something is wrong with the administration/curriculum.
Maybe finish out kindergarten this year and take the summer to ponder, pray, and perhaps prepare (Wow! Look at that alliteration!)for homeschooling.
Did you think that this post would open up such a can of worms? I hope our comments help and not confuse!
What happened to the days of half day kindergarten and no homework until 3rd or 4th grade? Those were the good 'ole days.
Thank all of you sooooooooooo much for your ideas, advice, and wisdom; this is a hard decision for me. I want to do what is truly best for Braden; he and my other cuties are my first concern. I want to give motherhood my all, and if it means homeschooling I am prepared to do it; I just want to make sure it is what I am meant to do. I plan to spend a lot of days with my nose in the scriptures and on my knees in prayer; whatever I do, I want to feel it is inspired. Thank you again ladies for being behind me whatever I decide! :)
Carrie, this is Rich's old friend from the singles ward. I can't believe they let him be bishop!
Only you know what is best for your child. We have the absolute opposite in the Utah school system. I'm underwhelmed by the expectations in the public school system. I fear that although my kids are getting good grades that they aren't good readers and writers.
Last year at a conference, I heard the President of the NEA, Reggie Weaver, give the most inspirational speech I've heard in a LONG while. Then and there I decided to be part of the process. I know all of my kids' teachers. I communicated with the teachers constantly. I hold my kids accountable. I joined the PTA. I believe in public education, but I believe that if you are not happy with it that you work to change it.
Trust me, it's much harder than I ever anticipated, but I'm not going to quit. I have kids in elementary, Jr. High and high school. It's exhausting just trying to shepherd them through the process.
I like your friends' advice to ask the Lord. Your sweet son was with Him first and knows him even better than you (although I know that's hard to believe!) He'll know what's best. He always does. Good luck with your decision, and tell Rich hello from me!
Kindest Regards, Wendy
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