Chaos Central

Tonight, my house was officially Chaos Central. Rich was again out and about doing church stuff, should have been my first indication that things would be a little crazy, and I had the cuties all to myself, again! Did I mention Rich was out of town Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, and all four were at home with me 24/7 due to Braden's Spring Break, two of which were feeling under the weather? Gotta love it?!!!! Anyway, back to Chaos Central; Rich left about six to go meet the missionaries, and I got my game face on, all ready for whatever may come my way. First, let me say that nothing is easy with this cutie in the house;

he wants to eat every two hours and have constant company, that is until he is tired, at which time he cries (add to this the fact that he is the gassiest baby known to man)! Everything is harder and takes a little longer now that Colton has joined our little band of hoodlums, supper would be a perfect example. The other three are hungry; I am hurriedly trying to crack eggs, add milk, salt, pepper, and whisk, while trying to keep Colton happy in the bouncer (nothing beats breakfast for supper). You know the drill, crack an egg, talk to the baby, crack an egg, talk to the baby, add some milk, talk, a little salt, a little more talking, add some pepper, talk; this worked fairly well until about the time I put the eggs into the frying pan, at which point Colton had decided he had enough talking. He couldn't decide if he wanted sleep or food more, but he knew he was unhappy! I picked him up and bounced and danced around the kitchen while I cooked: stir, dance, bounce, stir, dance, bounce, retrieve the frozen bread, bounce, walk, bounce, put bread in microwave to thaw out (microwaves are AWESOME inventions by the way), bounce, stir, dance, take bread out of microwave, dance a little more, stir, bounce, turn burner off, dance, notice that Colton is asleep, realize that he will scream as soon as he is laid down, do it anyway because the toast has to be made (I fix it like my daddy taught me, butter that bread up and cook for a few minutes on broil in the oven; the butter and jelly make for a divine mixture), lay Colton down, make toast, call other three hoodlums inside to help with setting the table, inform one whining hoodlum that she can either go hungry or help set the table, the whiny hiney opts for helping (smart girl), hurriedly get everything ready while listening to Colton's cries from the other room, run and get Colton out of the crib, bounce, dance, walk, bounce, everyone sits at the table, grab the boppy, say the prayer, nurse and eat, nurse and eat (I should be like the queen of multi-taskers of the world). Oh, did I forget to mention that I also put two of my hoodlums in time out while I was trying to cook, one for showing a little too much sass, and one for throwing a bucket at his sister's head. Well, once supper was over, the children cleaned their plates (with a little extra prodding tonight); it was now time to begin the dreaded, bedtime routine, beginning with baths. Braden in first, Emma in next, Braden out, Emma out. "Get your pajamas on please, and Emma bring me a diaper," I plead. Braden quickly gets dressed, and then begins to encourage his youngest sister to run like a wild, naked banshee around the house. At this point, I have Colton in his little bath seat, and Brooke is in the bath tub beside him; I decide to toon out the chaos until I can get Colton out, and then I plan to track Emma down like a bloodhound and force a diaper on her little naked hiney (that girl does LOVE to streak)! I begin to pray and plead for strength from Heavenly Father, and I chant in my head, 'You can do this. You will be a stronger woman after all of this. You can breath easy once they are all in bed. Rich should be home soon. Go to your happy place. Go to your happy place.' Well, baths are coming to an end; I think I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and then it happens, someone steals my light.

This little boy

runs into the bathroom screaming, "Emma is bleeding! She fell down, and she is bleeding!" My first thought, 'Oh Heavenly Father, please help me! Help me stay calm and know what to do! Man, I wish Rich was home!'

I quickly turn to Brooke, tell her to put her hand on this cutie to make sure he doesn't fall off, and I...

...began to run out of the bathroom to find Emma, or so I thought. There in the doorway was my sweet Emma, COVERED in blood! No, I am not being over dramatic! She was COVERED in blood: her mouth, nose, cheeks, hands, chest, and stomach, all covered in bright red blood! I've never seen this much blood in my life, and to make it worse, I had no idea where the blood was coming from! I tried using toilet paper to wipe off the blood, but it was a fruitless effort; there was just too much blood! So, I did the only thing I could think of; I put her in the bath tub with Brooke and Colton (good thing she was already naked), and I began to wash off all of the blood (Oh, I also made a mad dash to the phone to call Rich's crackberry, leaving a crazy message about a naked blood soaked child; sure that didn't freak him out or anything). Once clean, I began to track down the source of the injury, which I am happy to report was only her

NOSE!

Can you believe that?!! All of that blood came from her nose! But I digress, having found the source of our blood fountain, I begin to assess how bad the damage was; it appeared that it was nothing more than a nose bleed, but I wanted to be sure. I asked Emma if she was okay; she flashed me one of these, and

I sighed a sigh of relief!

With another catastrophe averted, I hurriedly got all three hoodlums out of the bath tub and quickly got them dressed. Rich, being a man of impeccable timing, came home just in time to read books, read scriptures, have family prayer, and tuck three of the hoodlums in bed, leaving me to deal with this hoodlum,

who very seldom looks like this;

we are having some issues with his current loathing of the crib, but that is material for another post.

For now, I'm an overtired, overworked mother, signing off from Chaos Central.