A Serious Case of Guiltitis

Before I begin, I must give a huge shout out to my friend Kim! This morning I was really sick; I couldn't function, and I couldn't think. I was filled with despair and self doubt; I began to doubt my quality as a mother!

I had come down with a severe case of

GUILTITIS!!!!

What brought about my case of Guiltitis?

What filled me with these pangs of guilt and doubt?

The answer, an Honors Day.

More specifically, an awards ceremony for the kindergartners and first graders, an awards ceremony I would not be attending.

My reasons were valid, my points were substantial ones, and my guilt was palpable!

I pleaded with my son, "You know that I love you dearly right? I just can't handle taking the girls and Colton to the school! Which would you have chosen, me going to Honors Day or bringing cupcakes to your school yesterday?"

Braden's response, "What is Honor's Day?"

After explaining, he quickly responded, "Cupcakes!"

Case closed, right?!!?

I should be reassured by his response, comforted by his words.

Wrong, oh, so wrong!

As I drove up to Braden's school to drop him off, I saw what in my mind seemed like endless concourses of cars and parents all coming to attend Honors Day!

My mind began to race, 'Why didn't I try to make more of an effort?!!! Maybe I could have made it work! Am I a bad mom, because I am not going to be there?! Will Braden wonder where his mother is, when he looks around at the other camera laden mothers? Maybe I could run home and get ready and be back in time? (an obvious grasp for the unrealistic, considering I would have had to be back in 15 minutes)'

As my thoughts ran through my head, the Guiltitis started to take over my body; it was pulling me down to the world of what ifs and woulda, coulda, shoulda, and I felt helpless to fight it! My mind was still racing when I pulled into my neighborhood, passing one of my neighbors on her way out of the neighborhood; as she looked at me as she passed I thought, "I bet she wonders why I am heading back home. I know she is heading to the school, and she wonders why I am not doing the same. She thinks I am a slacker mom! Hey, she has no right to judge me!'

Yes, at this point the Guiltitis had a hold on my mind and my body.

I knew I had to be strong! I had to fight this Guiltitis! I couldn't let it win!

What to do? Who to call?

Rich, I'll call Rich; he'll know what to say. Dialed the number, poured out my recent medical history, explained my dilemma, pleaded for words of comfort and solace, but to no avail. Rich tried, but my Guiltitis had too strong of a hold on me!

I had to keep fighting! I knew I couldn't do this alone! I needed to talk to another mother! They would be able to give me the tools to rid my body of this insidious guilt, this plague!

So I did it, I dialed Kim's number, and anxiously waited for her to answer. Upon hearing her voice, I poured out my story of woe and despair!

Like the song of a beautiful lark, she healed my wounds and helped rid my body of the evil, the foul, the loathsome guilt!

Guiltitis was gone!

She talked of the short time he would actually be on the stage, the slim possibility that he would even see me in the sea of faces, the absurdity of dragging three children into a school only to snap a picture and give a loving hug at the end, shared her own stories of her past battles with guilt, and the pièce de résistance, the crème de la crème, she gave me an ingenious idea; have your own award ceremony for Braden at home!

HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH, HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH!

Can you hear the angels singing?

I am clean! The guilt is gone!

Not only do I no longer feel any guilt, not only has my body and mind been cleansed of the vile and depraved effects of guilt, but I have created something that will make all my children feel loved for not only today but years to come!

For today was born, a tradition,

Maseda Family Awards Night!

Upon hearing Kim's suggestion, I thought, 'I don't have to stop there! I can have an awards night for everyone! We can make it a huge night! We can make certificates, get medals, the kids can make awards too! We can even start doing it every year, a new Maseda Family tradition is born! Oh yeah, I am liking this idea!'

So, from this day forth, on the last day of school, we, the Masedas, will have an awards night, where food will be eaten (on special trays as is also tradition for all things noteworthy), fun will be had, and awards will be given!

It will be grand! It will be superb! It will be unforgettable!

Claps and cheers will explode, cameras will snap, flashes will light up the room, and hearts will swell with love, pride, and confidence!

All is right again in the world!

I have fought Guiltitis, and I have won!!!!!

Now, if you will excuse me; I have certificates and awards to create!

Braden is already ahead of me, so I have to get busy! While I brainstorm, please enjoy this picture of the award Braden plans to present his sister on Friday and a picture of Braden and Brooke beginning to work on their certificates; before I go though, I have one thing to say!

Thanks Kim! I couldn't have kicked Guilt's big butt without you!