A Fine Line

As a parent and a mother, you constantly worry about your children: Are they getting all of the veggies they need? Are they playing outside enough? Did I put enough sunscreen on them? Have I taught them to stand up for themselves? Are they learning all they need to? Do they know how much I absolutely love and adore them? Will they forgive me for the days my patience is in short supply? Am I raising them in a way that will make them assets to society? Do they laugh enough everyday? Is there a good balance of work and play? Are they learning to have a good work ethic? Do I stay close enough to be there when they need me, but not too close that they don't gain their independence or confidence in their own abilities? When I have to discipline them, do they also feel that I love them? Am I disciplining in a way that they understand that there are boundaries, but not squishing their spirits at the same time? Am I doing a good job at finding the natural consequence for their actions? Do I let them be who they are while helping them focus their ENERGY positively? Am I laying the groundwork, so as teenagers they will know they can always come to me? Have I told them enough, that I love them no matter what they do? Have I taught them enough that what they make of themselves on the inside is more important than the outside? Do I give them enough chances to dream and create? Have I achieved a balance in regards to their education? Am I doing a good job at letting them have the opportunities to become all they are meant to be without spoiling them? Are they having enough positive experiences? Do they laugh enough? Am I allowing them to have chances to succeed to build their confidence and self esteem? Do I allow just the right amount of disappointment in their lives to keep them grounded and to keep them from becoming self centered or egotistical? Am I doing enough to little by little prepare them to go out into the world on their own? So many concerns, so many worries, and so many questions!

Now the even more important questions:
Do they know with surety that Heavenly Father will always be there for them? Have I done enough to convey to them about the incredible love Jesus Christ has for them? Do they understand the love behind the sacrifice he made? Are they having enough opportunities to feel the spirit? Am I making sure they are gaining their own testimony little by little, line upon line? Do they truly know that when they pray, Heavenly Father is anxiously waiting and listening? Am I teaching them where to turn for comfort and strength? Have I told them enough that Heavenly Father and Jesus are there for us during times of sadness, struggle, and joy? Am I making sure that their spiritual, emotional, and temporal needs are being met?

I'm sure many of you know that I could go on and on wondering and listing questions that we as mothers and parents worry about, things we concern ourselves with daily. We have been given care of these precious spirits, and it is vitally important that we get it right!


Recently I read in Standing for Something:

"Every individual in the world is a child of a mother and a father. Neither can ever escape the consequences of parenthood. Inherent in the act of creation is responsibility for the child who is created. None can with impunity run from that responsibility.

Wrote Paul to Timothy, "But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel" (1 Timothy 5:8). I am satisfied that Paul is speaking of more than physical nourishment. It is not enough simply for parents to provide food and shelter for their children's physical well-being. There is an equal responsibility to provide nourishment and direction to the spirit and the mind and the heart.

Parents have not just a responsibility but a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God, and to be law-abiding citizens where they live."

-Gordon B. Hinckley

Where am I going with all of this you may be asking yourselves? I am trying to show that being a parent and mother means worry, concern and the desire to do your best. I am also leading up to my recent dilemma and soul searching decision. This week I asked myself these specific questions:



Do I give them enough chances to dream and create? Have I achieved a balance in regards to their education? Am I doing a good job at letting them have the opportunities to become all they are meant to be without spoiling them?



This week however all of these questions had to do with only one of my children, the beautiful, intelligent, and sassy

Brooke

This week Rich and I made the decision to pull Brooke out of preschool. We considered the cost of preschool, the additional cost of dance, and weighed the positives and negatives of having her in preschool. Brooke had only been attending two days a week, didn't seem to be learning more than fun songs, and there were two girls who were being mean to her. (Why do there always have to be mean people? Who would want to be mean to Brooke?!) We finally decided that it would be the best decision to put the money back into our budget, pull her out of preschool, and have me homeschool her at home this year.

You are probably thinking, 'Decision made, end of story.' The decision made however was just the beginning of the story. You remember those questions I was asking myself:

Do I give them enough chances to dream and create? Have I achieved a balance in regards to their education? Am I doing a good job at letting them have the opportunities to become all they are meant to be without spoiling them?

There is such a fine line between giving them all they need and spoiling them, and then you have to wonder what constitutes enough. All this week, I struggled with our decision. Will Brooke not be all she can be because she misses this opportunity? Am I taking her away from something she vitally needs just to save a little money every month? Does she really HAVE to have preschool at 3?! How will she react when we tell her? Is this one of those times we as parents just have to do what we think is right and allow Brooke to have a little disappointment? Will there even be any disappointment? (When we told her our decision, she was completely unfazed.) Am I just spending too much time worrying about this?

Back and forth I went all week; I just couldn't seem to know if what we were doing is right, so finally I called the one person who I knew could help me put everything into perspective, my mama!

I felt so much better about our decision after talking to her; she always knows just what to say. I often get so emotionally involved in a situation in addition to walking that fine line, wanting so badly to give Brooke the opportunities I am able to, that I needed someone to help me step back and put everything into perspective. I guess you never get too old to need your mama!

Slideshow of Brooke's last day at preschool soon to come